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Top 10 Most Annoying Coworker Types & How to Deal with Them
March 5th, 2010 by Andrew Kucheriavy  Posted in Humor, Resumark News

Attention!!Are your coworkers driving you crazy? You are not alone! A recent study showed that almost 40% of workers feel out of place in the office.  We have assembled a list of the most annoying coworker types. Anyone sounds familiar?

Note:  This advice is purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended to solve serious problems!

10. The Obnoxious One

An obnoxious coworker repeatedly bangs on the table for no apparent reason, cracks knuckles and whistles eight hours a day. All this is between thunderous phone conversations.  These coworkers have no secrets.  They prefer discussing them with a door open and over a speakerphone with the whole office listening. By now you’ve learnt about their bonuses, medical problems, and heard plenty of baby talk with the spouse.

How to deal with them:  Hum show tunes every time they get on the phone while hanging around their office and waiting for them to finish the phone call.  Better yet, give them a portable phone booth.

9. The Sloppy Eater

Don’t you love that constant sound of chewing coming out of your coworker’s mouth? How about that smell of rotten food items coming out of their garbage bin? Do you constantly get to use a dirty microwave and navigate your way through spilled coffee, sugar and dirty plates? Of course, the winner is the month-old leftovers in the fridge sporting a thick layer of fur. Yummy!

How to deal with them:  Bring a smelly sandwich like tuna for lunch and forget to put it in the fridge for about three days.  Don’t forget to label it with the annoying coworker’s name. Keep doing until they start going out for lunch.

8. The Prankster

Hmmm...The practical joker is next on the annoyance list. This is the wise one who toilet papers your desk, superglues your mug the mouse pad, unplugs your monitor and keyboard and send out fake memos about layoffs. This coworker does not mind humiliating his or her self and others and can’t understand why you wouldn’t want a gorilla stripper in the boardroom on your birthday.

How to deal with them:  Play the classic desktop wallpaper prank on them. Harmless but very entertaining!

7. The Weirdo

This is the guy in the cubicle next to you wearing 3-D glasses with the lenses removed. His desk is full of pictures of himself and Star Trek characters.  You have probably overheard him calling his mom to tell her that he has been a good boy today.  He regularly saves chewing gum on the end of a ruler and loves picking his nose (do you know he’s been secretly stashing those boogers under the desk?).  He spends his day at work browsing porn on the Web and drinking beet juice. Congratulations, you are working next to an office weirdo!

How to deal with them:  It is better to be neither friend nor foe with them. Avoid eye contact. Gift ideas include finger drum kit, solar-powered flash lights and family DNA testing.

6. The Back-Stabbing Nose-Browner

You know the type: they are taking on all projects, sucking up left and right, always nodding to everything the boss says. This type does everything possible to try to make the boss like them (especially at the expense of others). They are an office parasite, copying other’s ideas as their own and taking credit for someone else’s work as long as it gets them an extra brownie-point from the boss.

How to deal with them: pretend to ask their advice and make them feel important – they may actually help you to deal with the boss.  Just keep in mind that everything you ever say to them will be reported to the boss immediately.

5. The Stinky

istock_000005685623smallSome people in the office are identified by their offensive smell.   You can smell them from another part of the office and you can’t hide from it.  The origin of smell doesn’t really matter: either sitting next to someone who didn’t shower or someone who smells like an ashtray. Enough said.

Solution: For offensive smells give them a gift of perfume or cologne. Better yet, leave a bar of soap on their desk every day. If that doesn’t work – have everyone chip in for an air purifier.

4. The Drama Queen

Every office has one: “Oh My God! We are all going to get fired!”, “I don’t feel like working”, “This is too hard, I can’t do it!”  Sounds familiar?  Constant negativity and complaining at work becomes a real drag after a while.   It is not that they don’t like their job it is just a nasty habit of seeing only the worst around them. They have a gift for turning a small problem into major crisis. A great asset to any team for morale support!

How to deal with them: avoid telling them bad news.  In fact, avoid telling them any news. If do they get fired eventually, call in sick (you don’t want to be around when that happens).

3. The Broken Clock

They are always late to work. They skip important meetings, take long lunches, miss deadlines, leave work early and yet they never get called out on it! They stick at time management but at the same time they manage to get everyone else to help them with their deadlines, which they keep missing.  Oh, and the excuses: traffic, sick pets, and dying grandmothers, problems in kid’s school, meteors hitting the house tend to be the most popular ones.

Solution: give them a “Will Return” clock for their desk and make sure you don’t get assigned any joint projects or you will end up doing all the work for them to meet the deadlines.

Chorkle2. The Gossiper

They gossip about all the affairs in the office regardless of whether true or not. They love to dish the dirt as their view of everyone in the office is usually skewed and negative. Not only they love the rumors, they live on them. You are always wondering when they will make you topic of the day.

Solution: Abruptly quit talking every time they enter the room.

1.  The Idiot Boss

Bosses are always right. At least, they think they are!  In any case, don’t mess with the boss. It is dangerous and may get you fired. 

Solution: Seriously, if you have a problem with your boss, read our post on how to deal with an idiot boss - it may really help.
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Tags: humor, recommendations, relationships-at-work, advice, coworkers
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  • Jennifer

    How about the one that believes their part of the building and furniture? The one that believes that a certain area belongs to them? This is evident the most during lounge areas and break hours where they think a desk or conspicuous chair is rightfully there's and no one else is allowed to use that area when they are in occupant. But enjoy inviting mom, dad, the dog and just about every non-staff is the desalinated spots.

    This is the territorial worker, the one that been there forever and thinks their indispensable and can create their own rules.

  • Dr. P.

    how about the one who does absolutely nothing but somehow has managed to make others believe he is indispensable. always exaggerating or bending the truth, left and right with absolutely no remorse to make him sound like he knows everything, he works the longest hours, he never takes vacation, he is always available to help, etc. etc. have yo dealt with that type? needless to say, he doesn't like me, because I'm the only one he can't fool. really sad. you should see some of his emails and if you're in a meeting with him, expect to hear the same broken record of how much he knows, how much he works, and how much pathetic!

  • Gossiper and backstabber coworkers are the most common annoying problems being encountered in a workplace. These are the staff who needs mental rehabilitation. As my experience, it is very rampant in the workplace where a lot of idiot and stupid are working. I was wondering why the management is keeping these kind of stupid unprofessional staff. I believe bosses are being manipulated by these no brain staff or I may say because bosses have the same characteristics of their staff. Good luck to them.

  • These 10 types sounds just like the 10 types of human beings!

  • Sharon Farrell

    This is great stuff. You missed "The Know-It-All". This is the co-worker that knows better how to do your job than you do and doesn't hesitate to tell you so. How to deal with them? You can put a blank stare on your face and nod agreement, hoping they'll go away. You can TRY to point out where their thoughts go astray. OR, you can just rudely state: I know how to do my job, thank you very much.

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