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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

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Attention!!Are your coworkers driving you crazy? You are not alone! A recent study showed that almost 40% of workers feel out of place in the office.  We have assembled a list of the most annoying coworker types. Anyone sounds familiar?

Note:  This advice is purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended to solve serious problems!

10. The Obnoxious One

An obnoxious coworker repeatedly bangs on the table for no apparent reason, cracks knuckles and whistles eight hours a day. All this is between thunderous phone conversations.  These coworkers have no secrets.  They prefer discussing them with a door open and over a speakerphone with the whole office listening. By now you’ve learnt about their bonuses, medical problems, and heard plenty of baby talk with the spouse.

How to deal with them:  Hum show tunes every time they get on the phone while hanging around their office and waiting for them to finish the phone call.  Better yet, give them a portable phone booth.


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Fire your bossThree boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says: “Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow.”

The second one says: “Ha! You think that’s fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet.”

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: “You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!!”

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Don’t get stuck in this office after the interview. I hope those were not people really looking for a job. I would not joke with unemployed looking for source of income.



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  • Let you boss talk to the handWhat’s your company policy on severance pay?
  • How long does it take your company’s bureaucracy to get around to firing somebody for poor performance?
  • Do you have a random drug testing policy?
  • Does your company’s life insurance cover suicide?
  • How in depth are your criminal background checks?
  • Does your company’s insurance consider genital herpes a pre-existing condition?
  • How many sick days do you allow each employee before you stop paying them for not being here?
  • Does your insurance cover sex-change operations?
  • Does your internet access have a firewall that blocks porno sites?
  • How frequently do your accountants audit petty cash?


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  • Resumark.com: Tired of Wacky Job ApplicantsGood Communication Skills – Spends lots of time on phone
  • Average Employee – Not too bright
  • Exceptionally Well Qualified – Made no major blunders yet
  • Active Socially – Drinks a lot
  • Work Is First Priority – Too ugly to get a date
  • Family Is Active Socially – Spouse drinks, too
  • Independent Worker – Nobody knows what he/she does
  • Quick Thinking – Offers plausible excuses
  • Careful Thinker – Won’t make a decision
  • Aggressive – Obnoxious
  • Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs – Gets someone else to do it
  • Meticulous Attention To Detail – A nit picker
  • Expresses Themselves Well – Speaks English
  • Has Leadership Qualities – Is tall or has a loud voice
  • Exceptionally Good Judgment – Lucky
  • Keen Sense Of Humor – Knows a lot of dirty jokes
  • Career Minded – Back Stabber
  • Loyal – Can’t get a job anywhere else


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idiot_boss6A secretary was leaving the office one Friday evening when she encountered Mr. Jones, the Human Resources manager, standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

‘Listen,’ said Mr. Jones, ‘this is important, and my secretary has already left. Can you make this thing work?’

‘Certainly,’ said the secreatry. She turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

‘Excellent, excellent!’ said Mr. Jones as his paper disappeared inside the machine. ‘I just need one copy.’

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Job Websites Not Taking You Seriously?You might think that people fill out job applications to get a job. Apparently there are those that just want to have fun.

Name: Guy McDonald

Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

Desired Position: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

Education: Yes.
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