We often hear employers use big words such as “detail oriented” or “problem solving-skills”. Everyone seems to be throwing them around without fully considering their true meaning. Here is the interpretation of common corporate terminology that will make you smile:
COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don’t pay you enough to expect that you’ll dress nicely.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED: You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day. Read this »
Ever wondered what your last name means or what your job was called several hundred years ago? Many of today’s jobs simply did not exist back then. On the other hand, there are plenty of old jobs that have been greatly diminished or don’t exist today.
We’ve put together a list of the most fascinating old occupations for you to enjoy. Have you heard of any of them? Let us know in the comments!
For many of us - work is a necessity but not really something that we find immensely satisfying to do. However, we have fixed hours of the day in which we are expected to turn up into the office and ‘work’. For some people this is hard to do! It’s difficult to maintain focus and it’s difficult to keep progressing on something that isn’t fun or interesting. In some cases there simply isn’t enough to keep us busy! - So here are some ‘fun’ ways to pretend that you’re working (now don’t quote me on these or ‘take them seriously’ as words of proper careers advice-it’s just some food for thought to get you through the day!):
1. Type loudly on your keyboard with a steady rhythm
2. Hunch over your keyboard like you’re really concentrating
3. Automate email sending (especially late at night) Read this »
Sorry Boss I can’t come into work today…my spirit guide says work is for losers!
I’m just checking to make sure everything is okay with my not coming in today. I hope you haven’t forgotten about our little agreement at last year’s Christmas party.
The dog ate my car keys. We’re going to hitchhike to the vet.
I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn’t come to work, knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet…
I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.
I died and won’t be in today. Monday earliest.
The company coffee supply is outta macadamia nut coffee. I have to fly to Hawaii to get some.
A meteor fell through my roof and as I ran from the house to get in the car, an alien swooped down and abducted my car keys, then I got on a bus, which plunged over a cliff. I climbed up the cliff to find a phone to call in late, when someone informed me that my workplace was sucked into a vacuum and wound up in another country. I missed the last flight, so I’ll be late.
We often hear employers use big words such as “detail oriented” or “problem solving-skills”. Everyone seems to be throwing them around without fully considering their true meaning. Here is the interpretation of common corporate terminology that will make you smile:
Ever wondered what your last name means or what your job was called several hundred years ago? Many of today’s jobs simply did not exist back then. On the other hand, there are plenty of old jobs that have been greatly diminished or don’t exist today. 
