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Posts Tagged ‘Joke’

September 24th, 2010 by Andrew Kucheriavy   Posted in Humor

istock_000011413597xsmallHave you ever wondered what your boss really thinks of your performance? Following the success of Job Evaluation Terminology Translated into Plain English, we have translated some of the “big words” used into job evaluations. Enjoy:

AVERAGE: Not too bright.

EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date.

ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily.

ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated.


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July 18th, 2010 by Guest Author   Posted in Humor

Work-Life BalanceFor many of us - work is a necessity but not really something that we find immensely satisfying to do. However, we have fixed hours of the day in which we are expected to turn up into the office and ‘work’. For some people this is hard to do! It’s difficult to maintain focus and it’s difficult to keep progressing on something that isn’t fun or interesting. In some cases there simply isn’t enough to keep us busy! - So here are some ‘fun’ ways to pretend that you’re working (now don’t quote me on these or ‘take them seriously’ as words of proper careers advice-it’s just some food for thought to get you through the day!):

1. Type loudly on your keyboard with a steady rhythm

2. Hunch over your keyboard like you’re really concentrating

3. Automate email sending (especially late at night)
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July 4th, 2010 by Tatiana Varenik   Posted in Humor

business-people-laughing
  1. Sorry Boss I can’t come into work today…my spirit guide says work is for losers!
  2. I’m just checking to make sure everything is okay with my not coming in today. I hope you haven’t forgotten about our little agreement at last year’s Christmas party.
  3. The dog ate my car keys. We’re going to hitchhike to the vet.
  4. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn’t come to work, knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
  5. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet…
  6. I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
  7. I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.
  8. I died and won’t be in today. Monday earliest.
  9. The company coffee supply is outta macadamia nut coffee. I have to fly to Hawaii to get some.
  10. A meteor fell through my roof and as I ran from the house to get in the car, an alien swooped down and abducted my car keys, then I got on a bus, which plunged over a cliff. I climbed up the cliff to find a phone to call in late, when someone informed me that my workplace was sucked into a vacuum and wound up in another country. I missed the last flight, so I’ll be late.

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April 29th, 2010 by Guest Author   Posted in Humor, In the Workplace, Most Popular

wacky-job-applicantsCongratulations!  The contract agency just called, and you’ve got an assignment with ABC Company.  Here are some ways you can ruin the chance you’ve just been given.

1. Don’t show up on time.  After all, it takes a while to get your hair perfect, and who knows what the traffic is going to be like?  And how can you face a new job without your beloved half-caff?

2. In fact, don’t show up at all.  After all, jobs are easy to get, right?  And your agency won’t care that they have no idea why you aren’t where they sent you.  Don’t you dare call anybody to let them know you’re not coming in – that’s why you gave them all those phone numbers, so they can call you!


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April 9th, 2010 by Andrew Kucheriavy   Posted in Humor, Most Popular

business-people-laughingWe have recently shared some of the Most Hilarious Spelling Mistakes on Resumes and Cover Letters.  If you thought those were funny, you should hear some of the unusual resume blunders that recruiters and employers come across. 

One candidate wrote that he needs multiple bathroom breaks each hour, another attached recommendation letter from his mother; third job seeker stated that she has the ability of persuading people sexually.   Hiring managers and recruiters have seen it all: from full medical histories and criminal backgrounds, to pictures in bikinis and perfumed resumes with teddy bears on them.  Going through a pile of resumes could be monotonous so hiring managers appreciate creativity and originality but sometimes they ask:

What Were They Thinking???

The following is some of the most unusual and silliest things that people have put on their resumes and job applications:


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